Not So Legendary Journey

The Legend of Hercules

Hello to all, I’m going to make this more of a rant than a review because I really have nothing positive to say about this film. I actually had to watch TV to get rid of the bad ‘taste’ in my mouth before I went to sleep last night. I was not going to have any image of this movie in my subconscious before I went to sleep.

I have no idea how in the heck this film ever went into production with the screenplay that was produced. This film is a mixture of every gladiator type film that has ever been made and then some. I think I even noticed a little aspects of God of War in the film somewhere. The film is about a tyrannical king who has basically taken over many parts of Greece. His wife doesn’t like this, so she prays to Hera (Queen of the Greek Gods) and asks her to help her stop her husband. Hera comes to her and says that Zeus (King of the Greek Gods) has wanted to sleep with this particular queen and is now giving him permission because she is asking for Hera’s help. BUT she has to secretly name him Hercules. Umm… adultery is fun for everyone I guess. Twenty years go by and the king doesn’t like Hercules (shocker). So the king has decided to marry off Hercules’ girlfriend to his older brother and send Herc to a far off land with the army to… well die of course. Herc promises his love he will be back to stop the wedding, but somehow finds himself a slave turned fighter (sound at all familiar?!).  Well of course Herc has fought his way to Greece and somehow as gathered the kings’ men to stand against their ruler. One ‘epic’ battle and a duel between Herc and the king later, Hercules is victorious and rules all. There I ruined it for you so you don’t have to ever waste your time.

Renny Harlin is the director of this film and I am still amazed that this man is directing anything more than TV commercials. Harlin hasn’t made anything worth watching since The Long Kiss Goodnight. Harlin even helped with the script and I am just still reeling in the fact that he wasn’t sued over some of the stuff in this film. There is the slow-motion action as seen in 300 and even rose petals rain down on Herc after his victory in the fighting ring as in Gladiator.  I really should have remembered him for my “People We Could Do Without” list. Oh well, hind sight is 20/20, as they say.

Kellen Lutz (the Twilight series) plays the title role. All I kept thinking as I was watching this horrible film, is I feel really bad for Lutz. Poor guy is just trying to get his name out there, maybe some more action films, but he accepted this role. After few acting classes and a new agent, Lutz probably could be a decent action star. I would just advise him to stay away from terrible scripts and terrible directors.

Please I beg you do not to attempt to watch this film. I cannot stress this enough!

Verdict: I would not even subject this to my most hated enemy.