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The Expendables 3

What can I really say as a setup to The Expendables 3? Maybe, an action franchise eerily becoming like a horror movie franchise. See if Lionsgate can spit one film every two years in August. All they really do is alter the action scenes, the plot a little, and pick a new bad guy; then they have a new Expendables movie. OH, right, I forgot, they change directors as well.

Throughout the outlining process of this review, I tried to remind myself not to be too judgmental about this film. It was hard because I kept going back to the horror franchise analogy. I ask you to just follow me for a few moments. Think about this franchise and then think about the Scream franchise. Both have the same core of characters, they both change the ‘killers’, and they both supplement new characters when the others die. Of course, this comparison can be done to any horror franchise; I just picked Scream because Ghost Face (the killer) is never the same person.

Now is this a bad thing? Yes and no. I think it is a bad thing because the film snob in me thinks, “why in the world do we need to make sequels to a crappy movie anyway?” I also think that most of these actors have hit their prime and this franchise isn’t helping them at all. Retirement should be on most of their minds. I love most of these guys in their prime, so it hurts me that I write this (sort of), but do we really still need another action movie where the only real audible sounds are gun shots, explosions, and grunts?

When I push my snobbish side away, I am reminded that this film was made for the explosions and the grunts. This wasn’t made for the Academy of Arts and Sciences or snobbish film critics, this film was made for guys (and some girls) to watch their favorite action heroes all on one screen doing what they do best…killing everyone and anyone. That little bit of nostalgia gives those fans a little bit of bliss for 2 hours, all the while grunting at the screen themselves as bad guys die in many different and entertaining ways.

So in trying to find that happy medium, I started thinking about all the 80’s action films that most of these guys were apart of and I kept coming to one conclusion. THEY ALL HAD GOOD PLOTS. They wouldn’t be famous action stars if their films were crap. Die Hard, First Blood, The Terminator just to name a few action movies where the plot was heralded along with the action scenes.  Expendables 3 seems like it borrows its plot from a bad 80’s action movie. The predictability of the plot is so bad that I found myself just hoping someone would shot a bad guy, start a gun fight, just so the talking would stop and I didn’t have to see the movie unfold in my head before it came to pass on screen.

It was nice to see Mel Gibson acting again, even if it was on this film. Though Gibson didn’t do much with this opportunity because his character was basically Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon) the bad guy and it doesn’t help that all of the actors kind of borrow aspects of their other roles as well. I also wish that I could say one of my favorite actors, Harrison Ford (Yes, Han Solo himself) does a good job with the limited time he is on screen, but he just seems so flat. The only performance that I can say was good was Antonio Banderas. Not borrowed from any other film of his, Banderas creates an eccentric character that stands out among the rest.

Of course the action scenes in the film are worth watching and many bad guys die within the 126 minutes of the film. Each one of the Expendables gets a highlight kill in the movie as well which of course is cool to any fan of these actors.

I promise this was me putting my snobbish thoughts aside; I just couldn’t get over how ridiculous the plot really was. Even with bad guy deaths a plenty, I just think they should get a little bit more sophisticated with the storylines of this franchise. Because if not The Expendables 6 might turn out a lot like Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.

The Verdict: Wait for it on Netflix